3 Minutes to Mars

The wind continues to grind sand across the roof of the hut and ping gravel off the window facing the Noctis Labyrinthus. Sam slams down the shade and pops his headphones back on. He clicks the button and hears the familiar chime warning of low battery.  He slumps back into the chair and tosses the headphones onto the wireless charger on the polished aluminum Qonsole desk. 

“CLEO, play Martian Explorer Season 1 Episode 3”

Please place a Key Qanister into the Qonsole

Sam runs his fingers through his beard and pulls himself out of the chair.  He drags himself down the hall shuffling his feet to mimic the grinding sand. He uses his keycode to unlock the Qanister container and expels a leaden “ugh” as he realizes all twenty Qanisters are glowing red. He couldn’t have used the Infotainment module that many times in two weeks. 

“CLEO, message Prithya: I have used all my entertainment allowance.  It is going to be a long five months.”

Sam grabs an empty Qanister and carries it over to the Qonsole. He connects it to the Key Qanister input and twists it into the locked position.

Sam. This Qanister has been used. Please use a fresh Qanister.” 

Sam disconnects it and throws it down the hallway.  The clanking metal sound is completely washed out by dust scouring the hut. He places his hands over his ears and heads to the kitchen. Maybe he would have an egg. His grandfather always said a perfect egg should be cooked in boiling water for three minutes. Grandpa didn’t know that was the time it took for light to reach Mars from Earth.  He wouldn’t be happy watching Sam mix the freeze dried egg into the warm water. Sam pours a cup of tea and waits for the egg to set. At the moment it is almost ready CLEO chimes in.

“Sam. Message from Prithya: I told you not to get the Explorer Package. I am sure they have some extras locked away up there.  Contact customer service and see what they will charge you. Love you.”

“CLEO, message Prithya: I love you too.”

Prithya is right.  Sam had this romantic vision of going on an adventure to Mars: seeing the Martian sunrise, rock climbing in the Noctis Labyrinthis, and living in isolation which would spark his plans for his next startup venture. The spacecruiser took five months to reach Mars, he was staying for 5 months, and then returning. CLEO-Corp offered a variety of vacation possibilities but the Explorer Package offered what Sam thought he wanted most: limited access to entertainment, text only communication with Earth, an octoped transport, and a view of the Noctis Labyrinthis.  There were a few things he didn’t consider: the emptiness of space for five months aboard a spacecruiser, the barren desert without a hint of life, and all the great ideas he couldn’t pitch to VCs. It’s a lot to think about and Sam hadn’t thought about any of it. 

“CLEO. Please order new Key Qanisters”

Sam. Would you prefer Standard Delivery for 100 Qredits or Instant Delivery for 10,000 Qredits?”

Sam swears. 100 Qredits just to watch a couple shows was robbery. He should have gone for the Ares Grand Package that came with unlimited Infotainment. 

“Okay CLEO. Order 10 Key Qanisters Standard Delivery.”

Checking Inventory. 20 Key Qanisters are currently available. Shipping time is 154 Earth days. You will not be here then.  Where should I ship the order?

“154 Earth days! C’mon!”

Would you like to cancel the order? The SolarExpress takes 150 Earth days to reach Mars from Earth.

“Then how does Instant Delivery work? Are they just hidden somewhere in this sand-blasted tin pot?” Sam is breaking his rule of never yelling at automata. 

Instant Delivery is available through CLEO-Corp’s trademarked One-Button Quantum Teleportation. Would you like me to change your order?

“Just cancel the order. 10,000 Qredits is ridiculous. Everyone knows you can’t teleport objects. I’ll find the Qanisters.”

A few hours later, the  green glow of a fresh Qanister illuminates Sam’s face.

“C’mon baby. Be the right one,” he whispers to it as he connects it to the Qonsole. 

Checking Key. Invalid quantum state. Sam. Please insert a valid Key Qanister.” 

Sam unplugs the Qanister, grimaces in the red glow, and drops it onto the floor next to the crowbar.  At least his headphones are now charged and CLEO’s voice interrupts the doom-sludge tunes instead of competing with the wind. 

A few days later, Sam realizes he can’t take it.  The windstorm has still not ended.  He hates his melancholy music. He needs something to cheer him up.  He needs to see human faces, even actors or reality-show contestants, interacting with each other. 

“CLEO.  Place an order for one Key Qanister by Instant Delivery”

Order placed. Please collect a Bell Qanister from locker J-X5.”  

Sam shuffles down the hall to see J-X5 open.  He sees the crowbar dent on the door visible from this side.

“CLEO. Inserting the Qanister.”

BOB-LE-34F5F Qanister inserted. Routing Key to ALICE-LE-34F5F. Instant Delivery takes 12 minutes.”

“CLEO.  Message Prithya: I love you but I hate the speed of light.”

Sam makes instant eggs again to pass the time.  He wishes he could make two perfect eggs and talk to his grandfather about how good this wind would be for sailing if there was water on Mars.

Six minutes later, CLEO chimes in:

“Sam.  Verification tests show that BOB-LE-34F5F or ALICE-LE-34F5F has decohered. This can occur due to cosmic rays. We will not charge you for this Bell Qanister.  Please bring another Bell Qanister from J-X5. Avoid any Qanisters with a red light which indicates Qanister use or exposure to intense radiation .”

Sam stares down the hallway at the emptied contents of J-X5 piled up like a rock cairn. A red glowing monument to Sam’s lost patience and five more months of solitude and boredom.